I used to believe that love meant putting everyone else and their needs first, before my own. While I do think there is some truth to that, in the sense that being a giving person is one of the ultimate acts of being a loving person, I came to realize that I must give to and love myself first and foremost.

以前，我相信爱就意味着要把他人和他人的需求放在自己的需求之前。现在我仍然认为这种观点有一定的道理，因为作一个“施爱者”的最高境界之一就是作一个“给予者”。但是，我渐渐意识到，给予自己、爱自己才是最重要的。

Here’s why:

原因如下：

When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don’t take care of yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually), you can’t be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. So in essence, you don’t love them at your full potential!

当你把一切其他人、其他事都置于自己之上时，你就不能再看到自己的价值、考虑自己的需求了。而当你无法满足自己的需求时，你就不能(从心理上、生理上、思想上、精神上)好好照顾自己了。这样，对你生命中那些特别的人来说，你便无法成为那个最好的自己。所以，从本质上说，你没有尽自己一切潜能来爱他们!

Here are some things to consider —

你需要思考一下：

1. Are you physically taking care of yourself? Do you nourish yourself with the right foods, get enough sleep, exercise, are at a healthy weight, and on top of your check-ups? If not, I bet your energy is low, you’re tired and stressed, and your confidence isn’t the highest (because you probably don’t feel your best). Now think about how much more you could give to others when you aren’t exhausted, you’re happy with what you see in the mirror, and you aren’t on edge with stress.

1、你好好照顾自己的身体了吗?你有没有做到合理饮食以获得营养、得到足够的睡眠和锻炼、维持健康体重并保持体检各项指标都正常?如果没有，我敢说你的能量肯定很有限，你感到疲倦、压力很大，而且信心也不在最高值(因为你很可能不在最佳状态)。现在，想象一下，如果你不疲惫，乐于看到镜中的自己，而且没有因为压力而感到烦躁不安，你能为别人多做多少事啊!

2. Are you emotionally and mentally healthy? As humans, we’re so complex and having ups and downs is normal. But in general, assess where you stand emotionally. If it’s in a healthy place and you can manage your emotions in a healthy way — great! But if you self-soothe in destructive ways and have a negative attitude and energy about you, realize that it’s not just affecting you, but others too. When you aren’t an emotionally and mentally healthy person, that energy pours into everything you do, and everyone you’re around will feel the effects, too.

2、你的情绪和思想都是健康的吗?作为人类，我们是非常复杂的，心情时好时坏很正常。但是你可以总体评估一下自己的情绪状况。如果你的情绪很健康，而且你可以以一种健康的方式来掌控自己的情绪，那太棒了!但是，如果你的自我安慰方式是毁灭式的、对自己的态度消极悲观、充满负能量，那么你要意识到这种情况不仅会影响到你自己，还会影响到别人。如果你不是一个情绪、思想都健康的人，那么负能量会倾泻到你做的所有事情上，而你周围的每个人都会受到影响。

3. How’s your spirituality? In this sense, spirituality is about having an ultimate purpose and being intune with your true self. Do you wake up every day excited for what your life is about, and havegratitude for all the abundance you already have? If not, you may not be listening and living to what your heart truly desires. Living this way long term, may affect the essence of your inner being and, in turn, may not allow you to show up your very best for the world.

3、你的精神状况如何?在这里，精神状况指的是怀有一个终极人生目标，并且和真实的自己合拍。你是不是每天早晨醒来都会为自己的人生感到很兴奋，为你拥有的一切心怀感恩之情?如果不是，也许你没有倾听自己心中真实的渴望、没有活成真正的自己。长此以往，可能会影响到你的内在自我本质。话说回来，你也无法向这个世界呈现最棒的自己。

Be kind to yourself. It can be difficult to put your health and wellbeing first when life is demanding between your career, family, friendships, relationships, and so on. If you can think of any ways to improve your wellbeing and love yourself more, start today! Take a baby step towards this. Perhaps try getting an hour more of sleep. Move your body in a way that feels good. Take time for yourself to be with your thoughts and without distractions and feel that peace.

善待自己吧。把自己的健康和幸福放在前面可能会很难，因为我们需要平衡事业、家庭、友谊、爱情，等等。但如果你想到什么方法，可以提高自己的幸福感，可以更爱自己一些，那么就从今天开始实践吧!先向这个方向迈出一小步也是好的——比如，尽量多睡一小时，以自己感到舒服的方式活动活动身体，拿出时间与自己对话，远离纷扰，感受那份安宁。