I “Heard” the Love

When I was growing up I do not recall hearing the words “I love you” from my father. When your father never says them to you when you are a child, it gets tougher and tougher for him to say those words as he gets older. To tell the truth, I could not honestly remember when I had last said those words to him either. I decided to set my ego aside and make the first move. After some hesitation, in our next phone conversation I blurted out the words, “Dad… I love you!”

There was a silence at the other end and he awkwardly replied, “Well, same back at ya!”

I chuckled and said, “Dad, I know you love me, and when you are ready, I know you will say what you want to say.”

Fifteen minutes later my mother called and nervously asked, “Paul, is everything okay?”

A few weeks later, Dad concluded our phone conversation with the words, “Paul, I love you.” I was at work during this conversation and the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I finally “heard” the love. As we both sat there in tears we realized that this special moment had taken our father/son relationship to a new level.

A short while after this special moment, my father narrowly escaped death following heart surgery. Many times since, I have pondered the thought, if I did not take the first step and Dad did not survive the surgery, I would have never “heard” the love.

随着我逐渐长大，我不记得爸爸对我说过“我爱你”。如果从孩提时候起，爸爸就从来没对你说过“我爱你”，那么随着他年龄的增长，就会愈来愈难张口。实话说吧，我也实在记不起来上次什么时候对他说过那些话。我决定放开自尊，采取主动。犹豫了一阵后，在下次打电话时我突然说出了这些话：“爸爸……我爱你!”

电话的那端沉默了一阵，然后他有些害羞地说：“呃，我也爱你!”

我轻声地笑了起来，说：“爸爸，我知道你爱我，我知道当你准备好时，你就会把想说的话告诉我。”

一刻钟后，妈妈打电话过来，有些紧张地问：“保罗，一切都好吗?”

几个星期过后，爸爸在挂电话前说了句“保罗，我爱你。”打电话的时候我还在上班，在终于“听”到爱的声音后，我的泪水顺着脸颊流了下来。由于我们两人都坐在那儿泪流满面，我们知道这特别的时刻使我们的父子关系达到一种新境界。

这个特别时刻刚过不久，爸爸就进行了心脏手术，不过幸免于难。从那以后，我时常仔细回味，如果我没有走出第一步，如果爸爸的手术没有成功，我就再没有机会听到爱的声音了。