It’s clear, from Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor’s Senate confirmation hearings, that she has a warm relationship with her family and friends, including her beloved mother and brother。
But in her rise through the legal profession, she has made a number of personal sacrifices, most notably marriage and children。
Ms. Sotomayor’s marriage to her high-school sweetheart ended after just a few years, in part, she has said, because of an excessive work schedule. ’I cannot attribute that divorce to work,’ she told a panel on judicial life. ’But certainly the fact that I was leaving my home at 7:00am and getting back at 10:00pm was not of assistance in recognizing the problems developing in my marriage.”I have found it difficult to maintain a relationship while I’ve pursued my career,’ Ms. Sotomayor also said in a television interview。
Ms. Sotomayor was subsequently engaged, but that 8-year relationship ended, too 岸 before they went to the altar. She has no children. These days, her life is ’frantically busy, fulfilling and often aloof,’ according to the New York Times. ’You make play dates with her months and months in advance because of her schedule,’ a friend of hers told the Times。
Earlier this week, we discussed Jack Welch’s views on work-life balance. He argued that for women to rise to the top, ’they’ve got to make the tough choices and know the consequences of each one.’
But such choices aren’t just necessary for women, as Juggle readers have pointed out. Men, too, often make hard sacrifices (failed marriages, missing their children grow up) to reach the pinnacles of their careers, especially in our increasingly workaholic and wired culture。
As the New York Times columnist David Brooks put it: ’This is the story of pressures that affect men as well as women (men are just more likely to make fools of themselves in response, as the news of the last few years indicates). It’s the story of people in a meritocracy that gets more purified and competitive by the year, with the time demands growing more and more insistent.’
He adds that Ms. Sotomayor’s life ’overlaps with a broader class of high achievers. You don’t succeed at that level without developing a single-minded focus, and struggling against its consequences.’
I find this all a bit depressing and reductive, because it seems like those who make it to the top must be, by necessity, workaholic automatons. I wonder, Juggle readers, is it ever possible to rise high in a profession without being an unceasing, laser-focused workaholic? Are there examples in your own workplaces of people who have managed that feat?
显然,从最高法院大法官提名人索托马约尔(Sonia Sotomayor)的参议院提名听证会可以看出,她与家人和朋友都保持着温馨的关系,这其中也包括她深爱的母亲和弟弟。
但在她的法律职业生涯不断上升的同时,她在个人生活上也付出了许多牺牲,最明显的是在婚姻和孩子方面。
美国最高法院大法官人选索托马约尔索托马约尔与高中时的心上人的婚姻只持续了短短几年就走到了尽头,她曾表示其中部分原因是由于太过繁重的工作日程。她在一次关于司法生活的小组讨论中说,我不能将离婚归咎于工作,但早上7点离家、晚上10点才回家,这种状况肯定无助于认清婚姻中出现的问题。
索托马约尔还曾在接受电视采访时说,我发现很难在追求事业的同时维持恋情。
索托马约尔离婚后曾再度订婚,但这段长达8年的恋情也没等结婚就已告终。她没有孩子。据《纽约时报》(New York Times)报导,她现在的生活极其忙碌、充实,常常是孤身一人。她的一位朋友对《纽约时报》说,要想约她出来玩的话,得提前好几个月预约,因为她的日程太紧了。
本周早些时候,我们讨论了韦尔奇(Jack Welch)关于工作与生活平衡的观点。韦尔奇认为,女性要想升到高层,就必须做出艰难的抉择,并明白每个决定的后果。
但正如读者已经指出的,这样的选择可能不光是女性必须做的。男性也常常要做出痛苦的牺牲(婚姻失败、错过孩子的成长)才能到达职业生涯的顶点,尤其是在我们当前身处的这种职场文化之下--越来越工作狂,同时还要时刻保持与工作“连线”。
正如《纽约时报》专栏作家布鲁克斯(David Brooks)所说的,这其实说的压力,无论男女都受到了压力的影响(男性只是更有可能以自欺欺人的方式应对,过去几年的一些新闻揭示了这一点)。精英阶层的人士精益求精,竞争越来越激烈,而对时间的要求也越来越急迫。
他还写道,索托马约尔的生活与许多达到很高成就的人有一部分相同。如果没有一种执着的专注劲头并对抗因此而造成的后果,就不可能实现那么高的成就。
我觉得这一切有点令人沮丧,因为看上去似乎能够成就大事业的人都必须得是不知疲倦的工作机器。我在想,如果不充当永无休止、精神高度集中的工作狂,有没有可能在职业生涯中实现高升呢?读者们,你们身边有没有能做到这样的例子?