Lesson 85 Beauty is Only Skin-deep

It is natural for people to be attracted to beautiful things. It follows, therefore, that most women desire nothing but to look beautiful. That is why they cannot help but spend vast sums of money on cosmetics and fashionable clothing. They are interested in nothing but their looks. However, they should be reminded that beauty is only skin-deep.

Instead, they should pay more attention to their character because when you have character, you have class. And that is what gives one inner beauty.

Lesson 86 Me and My Big Mouth

Duke is out shopping with his wife, Angel.

D: How come every time I’m out shopping with you, you buy nothing but cosmetics?

A: Don’t you want me to look pretty?

D: Yes. But do you really need that much?

A: Well, since you put it that way, I guess I don’t. Do I?

D: Of course, you don’t.

A: Do you really think I look pretty enough without cosmetics?

D: Uh… sure. Besides, you’re spending a fortune.

A: Oh, I see! You’re interested in nothing but money. You don’t really care how I look.

D: Come on. Be reasonable. You’re married. Who’s going to look at you anyway? (She gets angry.)

A: Make your own dinner tonight.

D: Me and my big mouth!

Lesson 87 Traveling by Plane

Traveling by plane is exciting, but it can also be very tiring. There are so many things to be done. You have to pay the airport tax, check in your bags and then get to the departure gate. So it’s best to arrive at the airport at least two hours before your plane is scheduled to take off.

When you check in, the attendant will ask you to show her your passport, ticket and airport-tax receipt. After you have done that, she will weigh your luggage. If it’s overweight, you’ll have to pay an extra fee. Then she will give you your boarding pass. On your way to the gate, don’t pass up the chance to buy something at the duty-free shop. Things are a lot cheaper there. The key is to give yourself plenty of time and everything should run as smooth as clockwork.

Lesson 88 Bon Voyage!

Each day, more than 6,000 people around the world fall victim to HIV. That’s how serious the problem is. The World Health Organization has estimated that about 17 million people have already been infected with this disease. The news is that the virus is now spreading fastest in Asia. It’s high time some steps were taken.

Two proven methods should be followed. One way is to teach people how to avoid catching the virus sexually through condom promotion. The other way is to encourage people to stop having casual sex. A word to the wise is sufficient, so don’t take this warning lightly.

Lesson 89 AIDS

Each day, more than 6,000 people around the world fall victim to HIV. That’s how serious the problem is. The World Health Organization has estimated that about 17 million people have already been infected with this disease. The news is that the virus is now spreading fastest in Asia. It’s high time some steps were taken.

Two proven methods should be followed. One way is to teach people how to avoid catching the virus sexually through condom promotion. The other way is to encourage people to stop having casual sex. A word to the wise is sufficient, so don’t take this warning lightly.

Lesson 90 What an Idiot!

Lucy is talking to her boyfriend, Vic, about their friend, Randy.

L: Did you hear that Randy’s got AIDS?

V: Oh my God! Really? How come?

L: He became infected after having sex with a call girl.

V: What an idiot! Where’s he now?

L: He’s in a hospital. When I went to see him, I found him trembling in fear.

V: What did he say?

L: Not much. He seemed tired. He lay in bed with his eyes staring up at the ceiling.

V: Gee! Poor guy.

L: Let that be a lesson to you.

V: You’re right. I’ll never do that again.

L: What! So you’ve done it before!

V: Uh oh!

Lesson 91 Kayaking

If you are a little adventurous, like water sports, and enjoy being around nature, then kayaking is definitely for you. Floating, drifting and speeding down rivers is all part of kayaking. What better way is there to spend a boiling hot summer day? And if you think it is dangerous, you’re dead wrong. It’s so safe, you don’t even need to know how to swim! Everyone wears a life jacket while kayaking. So, you see, it’s not a sport for the brave only.

Kayaking may look difficult but it’s really very easy. Sea kayaking can be learned in 5 minutes! However, it takes about two days to learn river kayaking. And for an estimated US$1,500, you’ll be able to own all the proper equipment, including the kayak. It’s not cheap, but good things seldom are.

Lesson 92 Only the Good Die Young

Diana bumps into her friend, Steve.

D: Hi, Steve! It’s awful hot today, isn’t it?

S: You can say that again!

D: Let’s go kayaking later.

S: Are you kidding? I can’t even swim.

D: So what? You’ll be safe with a life jacket and a helmet on.

S: What if the kayak capsizes?

D: I’ll teach you to "Eskimo roll."

S: What’s that?

D: Well, it’s a special technique we use to get the kayak upright when it overturns.

S: I don’t know… it sounds pretty dangerous.

D: Come on. Don’t worry. Only the good die young.

S: What do you mean by that?

D: Just kidding. Let’s go. OK?

S: Ok. Anyway, if only the good die young, we’ll both probably live to be a hundred.

Lesson 93 One Good Turn Deserves Another

One good turn deserves another. That’s the lesson five store clerks learned recently.

Every day a strange old man came to their supermarket to buy groceries. "Once he came in wearing only one shoe," recalled one of the clerks. And although he grumbled a lot and they often had to stand there listening to him, he was a nice old man. The clerks befriended him and even helped him carry his groceries. One day when he fell ill with cancer, they even visited him in the hospital. The old man turned out to be a retired doctor. And, of course, when he died, he didn’t die a pauper. He left US$70,000 in his will to thank them for their kindness.

Lesson 94 As Poor AS a Church Mouse

E: There must be thousands of old men just like that doctor, I bet.

A: That’s probably true. And they must be wanting to draw up a will to give their money away, too. So the

next time you meet a lonely old man, you’d better treat him right.

E: Come on! What kind of person do you think I am?

A: Don’t get so mad! I’m just kidding! Besides, you might not be so lucky and come across my old uncle, Jake.

E: What do you mean?

A: He’s as poor as a church mouse!

Lesson 95 The Poor Man’s Cure-all

Having one of the world’s largest garlic crops, Gilroy, California is known as the "garlic capital of the world." On a hot summer day, a pungent odor rises from this farming town which can be smelled miles away. All you have to do is roll down the window of your car and you know you’re in Gilroy.

Believing that garlic helps the body fight many forms of diseases, people add garlic to their cooking in many parts of the world. Moreover, it’s popularly used as the poor man’s cure-all. During the First World War it was used as an antiseptic. And in the Second World War it was known as "Russian penicillin." Nowadays, thinking that it kills bacteria, some people eat raw garlic as if it were candy.

Lesson 96 What’s the Point of Chewing Gum?

Being an American, Donna wants to learn more about the Chinese. She’s talking to her Chinese friend, Jeff.

D: Hi, Jeff! What’s up?

J: Nothing much. What about you?

D: Same as usual. Here, have a stick of gum.

J: No, thanks. I’ll stick to my own brand.

D: And what brand’s that?

J: Actually it’s not gum. I eat raw garlic instead. Want a piece?

D: No way! So that’s where the stinky smell is coming from.

J: Hey! Watch your tongue, ok? Garlic kills germs. It’s good for you.

D: Says who?

J: Well, according to…

D: Never mind. Please stop talking. Your breath stinks. I’m out of here.

J: Boy! These Americans don’t know what’s good for them. Besides, what’s the point of chewing gum anyway?