It sounded like cats jumping off the Empire State Building.

听上去像一只猫从帝国大厦跳下来。

I’m going to reach out with a hook if you don’t shut up.

如果你再不闭嘴，我就向里面甩个鱼钩。

That was extraordinary. Unfortunately, extraordinary bad!

你的表演很特别。不幸的是，特别地差劲。

You have just invented a new form of torture.

你发明了一种折磨人的新手段。

If you had lived 2,000 years ago and sung like that, I think they would have stoned you.

如果你生活在2000年前， 唱成这样，人们会向你扔石头。

There’s only so much punishment a human can take. I can’t take anymore.

人类能承受的惩罚是有限的，我再也无法忍受了。

You killed my favorite.

我最喜欢的歌曲被你糟蹋了。

It is a beautiful song when you’re not singing it.

你不唱它的时候，它是首好歌。

You’re like a little hamster trying to be a tiger.

你像个小仓鼠要做大老虎。

I think you looked as if you were half-asleep throughout the song

你唱歌的时候，看起来处在半睡眠状态 。

I couldn’t understand a single word. ... You could have been singing in Norwegian.

我一个字也听不懂，你大概在用挪威语演唱。

Imagine 22 horses and a donkey (racing), you just wouldn’t stand a chance.

想象一下，一头驴与22匹马赛跑，你一点机会都没有。

It’s like you were drunk. I’m not talking one or two bottles, I’m talking a crate.

你看起来喝多了。我说的可不是一、两瓶，是一箱那么多。