JOKE 1

Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I’ll be in your hands all day.

一个妻子对她的丈夫说(她丈夫整天都在读报纸)：我希望我是一张报纸，那样的话我就可以整天都在你手里了。

Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.

丈夫说：我也希望是那样，那样的话我就可以每天都更新了。

JOKE 2

At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?

在深夜的时候，父亲看见他已经结婚的儿子准备离家出走…他问儿子：你正在做什么?

The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

儿子回答：爸爸，我对我的生活感到十分的厌烦!我的新婚发展的不顺利，我的妻子和妈妈一直有冲突!在法律上我必须承受这些，我讨厌这样的生活，我想要远离这里，我想要尝试生活中的各种乐趣，我想要愉快的生活。

Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you

父亲说：等等!!!我和你一起走!

JOKE 3

A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws ".

一对夫妇驾驶汽车在乡间路上行驶了几公里，车里沉默的可怕。彼此一句话也不交流。他们刚刚的一次讨论变成了争论,谁都不想放弃自己的位置。当他们经过一个谷仓前的骡子和猪,妻子讽刺地问道:“你的亲戚吗?”“是的,”丈夫答道,“亲家”。