We all face ill-wishers, when we set goals and begin to reach them, no matter at what stage we are now: sceptics, critics, people who taunt us or say that we won’t succeed in what we do.
当我们设定了目标并开始去实现的时候,不论我们目前处于哪个阶段,我们都会遇到幸灾乐祸的人:有的人持怀疑态度,有的大肆批评,有的则奚落我们,或者预言我们在所做的事情上不会成功。
Such people are a very powerful force, because even with “innocent” jokes and comments they can make you slow down or even stop moving towards your goals.
此类人具有超强的影响力,因为即便说了些“毫无恶意的”玩笑和话语,他们就能让你放慢甚至停下向目标前进的脚步。
How to deal with ill-wishers? Of course, they are all different, but here are a few good general tips:
如何应对幸灾乐祸的人呢?当然,他们各不相同,但是我们总结了以下几条应对一般情况的建议:
1. First, learn to identify them.
首先,学会认清他们。
Sometimes we just do not realize that someone is our ill-wisher. They can be close friends or family members, so when they say negative things, we often believe them and take them to heart. You should remember that there is a big difference between realists and sceptics. Learn to listen to what others say, and note your reaction. If that upsets you and makes you feel depressed, then probably these people are your ill-wishers.
有时我们只是意识不到某个人是希望我们不幸的人。他们可能是我们的挚友或家人,所以当他们说一些消极的话语时,我们通常会相信他们,把他们的话放在心上。你应该记住,现实主义者和怀疑论者是有很大区别的。学会倾听他人的话语,并注意你自己的反应。如果他们的话让你生气,让你感到沮丧,那么大概这些人就是希望你不幸的人。
2. Think maybe they are right.
思考一下或许他们是对的。
As was mentioned above, sometimes they are just trying to be realistic. They may have good reasons for their negative attitude. Take a step back and think objectively why they have doubts and see a real obstacle, and if so, then try to figure out how to overcome it. If you really want to reach your goal, you will find a solution. If your ill-wishers are certainly wrong, just move on.
如上所述,有时他们只不过试图现实一些。他们或许有很好的理由来说明自己消极的态度。退一步,客观地思考一下为什么他们有疑虑,认清真正的阻碍。如果真是如此,那么努力找到战胜阻碍的方法。如果你真的想实现你的目标,那么你就会找到解决办法。如果幸灾乐祸的人确实是错了,那你就继续前进吧。
3. Reject any negative thoughts they bring.
不接受他们带来的任何消极思想。
Enemies will always try to bring to you their negative thoughts, which can raise doubts about your rightness. Then it can grow and affect the way you feel about your goals. Stop these negative thoughts as soon as possible! Replace them with positive beliefs. Do not let them beat you!
敌人总是会试图将他们的消极思想带给你,这些思想会让你怀疑自己是否正确,然后会慢慢影响你对自己的目标的感觉。尽快摆脱这些消极的思想吧!让积极的信念取而代之。不要让它们打败你!
4. Understand that you will always have enemies, and don’t take them to heart.
懂得你总是会有敌人,不要把他们放在心上。
In everyone’s life there is at least one enemy. You cannot avoid seeing them but you can avoid listening to them. Just smile and do not pay attention to their words. They will not be able to affect you if you ignore their words.
在每个人的一生中,至少会有一个敌人出现。你不可避免会看到他们,但是你可以避免听信他们。只用微笑面对,不要在意他们的话语。如果你忽略他们的话,他们就不会影响到你。
5. Try to win them over.
努力把敌人争取过来。
Sometimes ill-wishers are your close people and you can’t ignore them. If so, it is better to enlist the help of these people, rather than fight them. Try to do it as soon as possible. Tell them that it is very important to you, and you need their help. Tell them that you understand their concerns, but you really need a positive attitude and support. If they are your close people who care about you, they will become your best allies.
有时候,幸灾乐祸的人就是跟你很亲密的人,你不能忽视他们。如果是这样,最好就是谋取这些人的帮助,而不是同他们斗争。尽快去争取他们。告诉他们这对你很重要,你需要他们的帮助。告诉他们你了解他们的担忧,但是你真的需要积极的态度和支持。如果他们是和你关系亲密、关心你的人,他们会变成你最好的盟友。