learning how to receive the love and support that came my way wasn’t easy. friends cooked for me and i cried because i couldn’t even help them set the table. "i’m not usually this lazy," i wailed. finally, my friend kathy sat down with me and said, "mary, cooking for you is not a chore. i love you and i want to do it. it makes me feel good to be able to do something for you."

学习怎样接受别人的爱和帮助并不简单。朋友们为我做饭，我哭了，因为我甚至不能帮他们摆餐具。“我通常不是这样懒惰的”我哀泣道。后来，我朋友kathy坐在我旁边，安慰我说：“mary，为你做饭并不是个负担。我爱你，我很愿意为你做饭，能够帮上忙让我感觉很好。”

over and over, i heard similar sentiments from the people who supported me during those dark days. one very wise man told me, "you are not doing nothing. being fully open to your grief may be the hardest work you will ever do."

那些帮助我度过人生中的黑暗时刻的人们，一次又一次的用充满感情的话来安慰我。一个很睿智的人告诉过我：“你并不是无所事事，完全的无保留的直面痛苦，可能是最难做的事。”