[美文欣赏]

The Art of Bouncing Back by Joyce Grenfell

I think the center of my faith is an absolute certainty of good. Like everyone else, I get low and there are times when I feel as if I have my fins backwards and am swimming upstream in heavy boots. But even in these dark times, even though I feel cut off, perhaps, and alone, I am aware - even if distantly - that I am part of a whole and that the whole is true and real and good.

I have never had any difficultly in believing in God. I don't believe in a personal God and I don't quite see how it is possible to believe in a God who knows both good and evil and yet to trust in Him. I believe in God, Good, in One Mind, and I believe we are all subject to and part of this oneness.

It's taken me time to understand words like "tolerance" and "understandind." I have given lip service to "tolerance" and to "understanding" for years but only now do I think I begin to understand a little what they mean. If we are all one of another, and this, though uncomfortably, is probably the case, then sooner or later we have got to come to terms with each other. I believe in the individuality of man, and it is only by individual experience that we can, any of us, make a contribution to understanding.

I've always been a bit confused about self and egotism because I instinctively felt both were barriers to understanding. And so in a sense they are.

I used to worry a lot about personality and that sort of egotism. I noticed that certain artists - musicians, for instance - would allow their personalities to get between the music and the listener. But others, greater and therefore humbler, became clear channels through which the music was heard unimpeded. And it occurred to me, not very originally, that the good we know in man is from God so it is a good thing to try to keep oneself as clear as possible from the wrong sort of self. And it's not very easy, particularly if you are on the stage!

I am one of those naturally happy people even when they get low soon bounce back. In minor things like housekeeping and keeping in sight of letters to be answered I am a Planny-Annie. That is to say I get through the chores in order to enjoy the space beyond. But I do find that, believing in the operation of good as I do, I cannot make plans - important ones, I mean - but I must prepare the ground and then leave the way free as far as possible. This, of course, means being fearless and isn't fatalistic, because you see I believe that when I am faithful enough to be still and to allow things to happen serenely, they do. And this being still isn't a negative state but an awareness of one's true position.

Friends are the most important things in my life - that and the wonder of being necessary to someone. But these things pass and in end one is alone with God. I'm not nearly ready for that yet, but I do see it with my heart's eye.

I don't understand it entirely, but I believe there is only now and our job is to recognize and rejoice in this now. Now... Not, of course, the man-measured now of Monday, Friday, or whenever, but the now of certain truth. That doesn't change. Surely everything has been done - is done. Our little problem is to reveal and enjoy.

[参考译文]

重新振作的艺术

乔伊丝.格伦费尔

我认为，对人性本善的绝对信仰便是我信仰的核心。同其他人一样，我也有遇到挫折、情绪低落的时候，那感觉就像是穿着沉重的靴子向上游，却被脚蹼拖着后腿一样。然而，就算是在那些黑暗的日子里，即使我有一种被孤立或者孤独的感觉，我依然会隐隐意识到自己是真实、正确且善良的整体的一部分。

我对上帝的信仰从未改变过。但我不相信肉身上帝，也难以明白怎么有可能去信仰一个善恶共存的神。我信仰上帝、善良、还有一神论，我也相信我们皆属于这个唯一，是它的一部分。

为了理解“容忍”及“理解”这样的词，我花了好些时间。几年来，我一直口头信奉着“容忍”与“理解”，但我觉得，直到今天我才开始对他们的含义有了些许的了解。如果我们都能够成为对方，虽然这很难但也许是有可能的，那么迟早我们都能学会互相谦让。我相信每个人都有自己的个性，也只有亲身经历，我们才会真正理解别人。

对于自我及自负，我总是有些迷惑，因为我直觉上认为它们都会妨碍理解。而且从某种意义上来说，的确如此。

我过去常为个性以及那种自负担忧不已。我发现，某些艺术家，比如音乐家，总会让听众从音乐中了解他的个性。而其他更伟大、也因此更谦逊的音乐家，则成为了使人们轻松了解音乐全貌的畅通渠道。我们知道人性的善良来源上帝，因此最明智的做法就是，努力使自己远离自身不道德因素的玷污。我并非第一个有此想法的人，这实为难事，尤其是当你身在舞台上的时候。

我是一个生性乐观的人，就算情绪低落，也会很快振作起来。我总会按计划来做一些小事，例如操持家务、查看需回复的信件。这就是说我会做完这些事以便享受以后的空间。然而我发现，在对行善的信仰及实践上，我却无法做出任何计划，我的意思是重要的计划，但我必须为之预留空间，并尽可能保持通道畅通无阻。这自然就是说，要无所畏惧而不是听天由命。因为你明白，我相信当我满怀诚意，静静等待事情发生时，它们便会发生。这并不是一种消极的状态，而是对自己真正处境的了解。