The materialism of Chinese women is putting off some Chinese men and driving them into the arms of Western women.
中国女性的物质主义至上已让中国男性望而却步,使他们转投西方女性的怀抱。
"Chinese man fancies Western woman" was the title of the personal ad Li Lei posted online, in which he asked if any Western "ladies (in Beijing) are open to a long-term and serious relationship with a Chinese guy". And by "long-term and serious", Li meant marriage.
李磊(音译)在网上发了一篇名为“中国男人偏爱西方女性”的个人交友贴,他在文中写道寻找“在北京生活的外籍女士,愿意和一位中国男士确立一段长期、稳定的恋爱关系。”而李磊所说的“长期稳定”也就意味着婚姻。
Marriages between Chinese men and Western women in China are noticeably fewer than vice versa, so why is Li taking the road less traveled?
在中国,相比中国女性嫁老外,本地郎娶洋媳妇的现象少之又少,可为什么李磊仍要坚持如此呢?
After studying for a combined five years in the Netherlands and United Kingdom, the 30-year-old Beijinger discovered he preferred the personality of Western European women. He considers them more independent than their Chinese counterparts, less girlish and more straightforward.
由于先后在荷兰和英国两地学习生活了5年的时间,这位离异的30岁北京人发觉自己更偏爱西欧女性的性格,他们比中国女性更独立、不娇气且更直爽。
Li puts extra emphasis on the last attribute. "That's something I really love. If they want something, they just tell you," he says in British-accented English, his boyish face lighting up. "Although it is the nature of a woman to want somebody to figure them out, the key factor is the degree."
李磊特别强调了最后一个特点,“如果她们想要什么,会直白的告诉你。这是我最欣赏的。”他说一口英国英语,孩子般的脸上透着兴奋。“虽然女生天生喜欢让别人猜测,但关键要拿捏好这个度。”
Besides writing personals, the trading company project manager also participates in speed-dating parties with foreigners and frequents international networking events.
除了发布网络交友贴,现在贸易公司的任项目经理的李磊也经常出现在与外国人的速配派对上,并常常参加一些在线跨国交友活动。
Tony, a 28-year-old native of Hunan is also keen on Western women.
28岁的湖南小伙子托尼也对西方女性情有独钟。
After two serious relationships with Chinese women, in which he got exasperated trying to figure out the reason why his girlfriends got upset, he decided two years ago that a North American or European woman would suit him better.
托尼之前与中国姑娘正式地谈过两次恋爱,他实在疲于去猜测女友为何不开心,并为此感到很恼火。就在两年前,他断定北美或者欧洲的女性更适合自己。
"Let's adjust the preferences," he remembers thinking at that point. Tony has worked as a data analyst at a multinational company for five years and has regular interactions with female foreign co-workers.
说到这点,他回忆说:“我们要正确对待这种偏爱。”托尼曾在一家跨国公司担任了5年的数据分析师,经常与外籍女同事交流。
Tony and Li's preference for Western women, the men say, is also due to the growing materialism of Chinese women and the pressure to provide a new apartment for one's bride-to-be.
人们认为,托尼和李磊对西方女性的偏爱源于中国女性不断膨胀的物质主义,以及为未婚妻买房带来的压力。
"In this situation, a foreign girl will say, OK, we can marry first before we have a house. We can work together to buy a house. There's not so much pressure on you. Both of us can bear this,'" Tony says, citing conversations with female foreign acquaintances.
托尼说:“在这种情况下,外国女孩一般会说:‘好吧,我们可以先结婚再一起赚钱买房。两个人一起承担,你就不会压力过大。’”他表示这是在与熟悉的外籍女性谈话时了解到的。
Li says the spotlight on newlyweds' possessions is something that "distorts love in China".
李磊认为,在中国人们对于新婚夫妇财产问题的过度关注,在某种程度上也使爱情变了味。
Li and Tony's taste in women may put them in the minority, but their numbers are growing as more foreign women come to China and more Chinese men learn foreign languages and experience life overseas.
李磊和托尼的择偶条件也许并不多见,但随着越来越多的外籍女性来到中国,更多的中国男性开始学习外语、体验海外生活,他们的队伍将不断壮大。
"Every relationship is about curiosity and communication and openness to learn and a willingness to accept," says Dr Alfred Chambers, a relationship-counseling specialist at Beijing United Family Hospital and Clinics.
来自北京和睦家医院的恋爱关系辅导专家,阿尔弗雷德?钱伯斯博士表示:“每段感情都要经历好奇、沟通、乐于学习新事物和全心接纳四个阶段。”
"But when there's different cultures, there's just more things to learn and so we need more curiosity and acceptance and patience," he says, stressing it is a life-long process.
他说:“但是当文化背景不同时,还会有更多的东西需要学习。因此我们要有更多的好奇心、包容心和耐心。”他同时强调说这还是一个终身的“事业”。
相关词汇
vice versa 反之亦然
participate 参加,加入
be keen on 喜欢
exasperate 恼火、恼羞成怒
spotlight 公众注意的中心