每个人都有忧郁的日子。
Everybody has blue days.
那些日子真是惨透了，你觉得心里乱糟糟的、怨气丛生、寂寞、整个人彻底的精疲力竭。
These are miserable days when you feel lousy, grumpy, lonely, and utterly exhausted.
那些日子总会让你感到自己的渺小和微不足道，
Days when you feel small and insignificant,
每件事情似乎都够不着边。
when everything seems just out of reach.
你根本无法振作起来。
You can’t rise to the occasion.
根本没有力气重新开始。
Just getting started seems impossible.
在忧郁的日子里，你可能变成偏执狂，觉得每个人都想要吃定你。
On blue days you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you.
其实情况并不总是那么糟。
This is not always such a bad thing.
你感到灰心、焦虑，可能开始神经质地拼命咬指甲，然后不可救药地陷入一眨眼吃掉三大块巧克力蛋糕的疯狂!
You feel frustrated and anxious, which can induce a nail-biting frenzy that can escalate into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake-eating frenzy in a blink of an eye!
在忧郁的日子里，你会觉得自己在悲伤的海里沉沉浮浮。
On blue days you feel like you’re floating in an ocean of sadness.
不论在什么时候，你总有种想哭的冲动，却不知道为了什么。
You’re about to burst into tears at any moment and you don’t even know why.
最后，你觉得自己犹如行尸走肉，失去生活目标。
Ultimately, you feel like you’re wandering through life without purpose.
你不知道自己还可以撑多久，
You’re not sure how much longer you can hang on,
然后你想大喊一声：“谁来一枪把我打死吧!”
and you feel like shouting, “Will someone please shout me!”
其实一点小事就让你一天都郁闷难当。
It doesn’t take much to bring on a blue day.
也许只是一觉醒来，没有感觉到或者看到自己最棒的一面，
You might just wake up not feeling or looking your best,
发现自己又多了几条皱纹，又重了几斤，或是鼻子上冒出了一个大包。
find some new wrinkles, put on a little weight, or get a huge pimple on your nose.
你可能忘记了约会对象的名字，或是有张可笑的照片被登出来。
You could forget your date’s name or have an embarrassing photograph published.
你或许被人抛弃、离了婚，或是被开除，当众出丑，被刻薄的绰号弄得心乱如麻，
You might get dumped, divorced, or fired, make a fool of yourself in public, be afflicted with a demeaning nickname,
或许只因为你得整天顶着一个其丑无比的发型。
or just have a plain old bad-hair day.
也许工作让你痛苦得如坐针毡。
Maybe work is a pain in the butt.
你在强大的压力下顶替他人的位置，
You’re under major pressure to fill someone else’s shoes,
你的老板对你百般挑剔，
your boss is picking on you,
办公室里的每一个人都让你发疯。
and everyone in the office is driving you crazy.
你可能会头疼欲裂，
You might have a splitting headache,
或重心不稳跌个正着，口臭、牙痛、不停放屁、口干舌燥，
or a slipped dish, bad breath, a toothache, chronic gas, dry lips,
或是指甲长到肉里头了。
or a nasty ingrown toenail.
不管什么原因，你确定上面有人不喜欢你。
Whatever the reason, you’re convinced that someone up there doesn’t like you.
唉，该怎么办，到底该怎么办呢?
Oh what to do, what to dooo?
嗯，你可能跟大部分人一样，
Well, if you’re like most people,
随便找个东西躲起来,以为事情会自行解决。
you’ll hide behind a flimsy belief that everything will sort itself out.
结果你得花掉下半辈子的时间回头看，
Then you’ll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder,
等着一次有一次重蹈覆辙。
waiting for everything to go wrong all over again.
最后你会变成一个易怒的、愤世嫉俗的，或者是 一个可怜兮兮的、哭哭啼啼的受害者。
All the while becoming crusty and cynical or a pathetic, sniveling victim.
最终你绝望地躺在地上，祈求地球将你吞没，或是沉迷在比利.乔的蓝调音乐中不能自拔。
Until you get so depressed that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up or, even worse, become addicted to Billy Joel songs.
这的确很蠢，
This is crazy,
因为你只能年轻一次，而且绝对不可能老两次。
because you’re only young once and you’re never old twice.
（兼职编辑：张博）
