As a saying goes, the wheel of fortune is constantly spinning in turns, to be in honor for thirty years will turn to be in disgrace for forty years, and prosperity swings to poverty, and then poor turns to wealthy, it keeps rotating beyond your control. Nevertheless, a lot of people don’t believe it and regard it as a kind of superstition. At any rate, I strongly believe it and my gut feeling tells me that our life is controlled by our designated destine. As Confucius says “life and death have destined times; wealth and honors rest with heaven”. When I was only little, I heard the older generation in my family boast my forebears were super rich for many generations. Though later on when it came down to my great grandpa’s generation, the overall circumstances were declining, he still managed to make some fortune out of speculating in trade of gold bullions. Nevertheless, unfortunately my great grandpa at last still lost all his fortune in his greedy speculation; therefore, it was the end of a good fortune and a beginning of a bad cycle.
A Chinese phrase reads --- Duo Shi Zhi Qiu – it is an eventful time, I was borne in autumn, as if it has destined my life to have a lot more pitfalls than anybody else does. Truly in my memory, it has never been a plain sailing in my life since I was borne in this big family, which had already downgraded to an only better-off status in the old Shanghai times. Anyhow, when I finally came to this world, the old Shanghai was already gone by, so was my better-off family. No wonder my mother was saying that I didn’t even feel bothered to utter a sound when I finally pushed out of her body, as if I already knew there was nothing there for me to cheer for.
The old Shanghai, once upon a time, was a magnificent place, a bright pearl of East; a worldwide recognized the paradise for Adventurers for all walks of life. The old Shanghai was a grotesque shining mosaic and a powerful melting pot nurturing and culturing generations upon generations of good and bad men and women. If Hong Kong is regarded being hatched out from a sordid fishing village to today’s thriving and prosperous international Metropolitan City, whereas Shanghai certainly has had a great leap forward from a squalid coastal enclave to a gorgeously brilliant gem of Cosmopolis in the world.
My grandpa told me the old Shanghai was a famous “sink of iniquity”, for it had more than 600 brothels spreading across every corner of this dazzling human world with its myriad temptations. The old British Club was an eyewitness account of the decadent Shanghai. It was over there the great Taipans, once upon a time, sipped their “stengahs” with a big cigar between their fingers after sunset. It was over there the white Russian girls were twisting their curvy body on the toe-point and lustfully showing their sexy long legs on the stage. The racecourse, the numerous gambling houses, and the gaudy western-style abodes and skyscrapers with ever-lasting flashing neon-signs on the top of building made a life a sharp and striking contrast with the sweating, scrawny coolies pulling the heaviest load of carts crossing the garden bridge and the haggard-looking, flea-ridden beggars howling along the street in the blizzards. Grandpa once teased me saying that I was coming too late to enjoy the old good times they used to have, but at that time I didn’t quite understand what he really meant, as all I knew was the old Shanghai was the glorious birthplace of the Chinese Communist Party in 1921. From the day of founding its organization to the day of becoming the founder of the People’s Republic of China, Shanghai was always playing an important role in milking the Chinese Communist Party and mothering the birth of a brand New China, despite the old Shanghai was also the old homes of Jiang, Kong, Song, Chen Dynasty and the hotbed of the “Green Gang” and “Red Gang”.
It is said that the “Green Gang” and “Red Gang” were the backbone of Jiang Jie Shi Nationalist Party and once they even assisted Generalissimo Jiang Jie Shi and his Nationalist Army in 4.12 massacre killing hundreds and thousands of revolutionary people, but in my eyes, the notorious “Gang of four” and their historically unprecedented Cultural Revolution was multiple folds worse than these Green and Red gangs, as they have completely ruined the life of more than three generations and tarnished millions upon millions innocent souls of people.
When I was old enough to go to kindergarten, on the first day, I was told we were the luckiest generation ever in China, as we were borne in the New China and were growing up under the Red flag. However, were we the luckiest generation? No! What had actually happened to us was nothing but political campaigns after campaigns, turmoil upon turmoil.
I was told we must listen to Chairman Mao and follow the Communist Party and become Chairman Mao’s good children, so my first song that I learnt to sing as soon as I was able to talk was “The Red is the East and rises the Sun”.
I was told to study hard for the course of the Chinese revolution, so my first nursery rhyme I learnt by heart was “Sparkling is the star in the sky,
Looking towards the direction of Beijing by standing on the bridge,
Keep looking until you see the TaiAnMen Square,
Our greatest Savior is Chairman Mao.”
When I went to primary school, I was told the foreign language was a must tool in a struggle against the Imperialism, the Revisionism, and the Reactionary, so my first English lesson was nothing but “Long live Chairman Mao and long long life to Chairman Mao”,
And again I was told there were about two-third of people in the world still living in the deep water and scorching fire – an abyss of suffering and extreme miseries, so my first lecture for the revolutionary politics was “Never forget the class struggle”.
The wheel of fortune has never stopped spinning, good to bad and bad to good, and no one is able to reverse the course of a life journey. Whatever my life is going to be like at the end of my day, despite it has been relentlessly destined to have a lot of pitfalls, I would always give it my best shot, as I firmly believe the wheel of fortune will turn.
