Of Love 论恋爱

The stage is more beholding to love, than the life of man. For as to the stage, love is ever matter of comedies, and now and then of tragedies: but in life, it doth much mischief: sometimes like a siren; sometimes like a fury. You may observe, that amongst all the great and worthy persons (whereof the memory remaineth, either ancient or recent) there is not one, that hath been transported to the mad degree of love: which shows, that great spirits, and great business, do keep out this weak passion.

舞台较人生受惠于恋爱者为多。因为在舞台上，“恋爱”长期可以供给喜剧底材料，有时亦可供给悲剧底材料;但在人生中，“恋爱”只是招致祸患;它有时如一位惑人的魔女，有时似一位复仇的女神。你可以见到，在一切伟大的人物中(无论是古人今人，只要是其盛名仍在人记忆中者)没有一个是在恋爱中被诱到热狂的程度者：可见伟大的人与重大的事真能排除这种柔弱之情也。

You must except, nevertheless, Marcus Antonius the half partner of the empire of Rome; and Appius Claudius the decemvir, and lawgiver: whereof the former was indeed a voluptuous man, and inordinate; but the latter was an austere and wise man: and therefore it seems (though rarely) that love can find entrance, not only into an open heart; but also into a heart well fortified, if watch be not well kept It is a poor saying of Epicurus, satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus: as if man, made for the contemplation of heaven and all noble objects, should do nothing, but kneel before a little idol, and make himself subject, though not of the mouth (as beasts are) yet of the eye; which was given him for higher purposes. It is a strange thing, to note the excess of this passion; and how it braves the nature and value of things; by this, that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole is comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase; for whereas it hath been well said, that the arch-flatterer, with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence, is a man’s self; certainly, the lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself, as the lover doth of me person loved: and therefore, it was well said; mat it is impossible to love, and to be wise. Neither doth (his weakness appear to others only, and not to the party loved; but to the loved, most of all: except the love be reciproque.

然而你必须把曾为罗马帝国一半之统治者的安东尼和十人执政之一及立法者阿皮亚斯·克劳底亚斯作为例外;这两个人之中前者确是一个好色而无度的人;但是后者却是一个严肃而有智的人;所以好象(虽然这是很少见的)恋爱不但是会入于坦露的心胸，并且也可以进入壁垒森严的心胸中(假如把守不严的话)似的。埃皮扣拉斯这句话说得不好——“我们互相看起来，就是一座够大的舞台了”。好象生来本当旷观天界及一切高贵之物的人类不应该做别的而只应跪在一座小小的偶像前面，自己把自己做成个奴隶似的，虽然这不是为口舌底奴隶——如禽兽一般——而是为眼目底奴隶(而眼目是上帝给人为高贵的用途的)。可异者，这种情欲底过度，以及它如何欺凌事物底本性及价值之处，是由此可见的，就是，长期的夸张的言辞惟有在关于恋爱的言语中是合适的，在其他的事情中总是不宜。不仅言语如此;昔人说得好，那为首的谄谀者——一切较小的谄谀者都是与他通消息的——就是一人底自我;而无疑地，情人是比这为首的谄谀者还厉害的。因为从无一个骄傲的人重视自己之甚有如一个情人之重视其所爱也。所以昔人说得好。“要恋爱而又要明哲是不可能的”。这一种弱点也不是仅仅在旁人眼中看得出来，而在所爱底眼中看不出来的;反之，这种弱点，在被爱者底眼中是最显明的，除非其人底爱情是得到了回报。

For it is a true rule, that love is ever rewarded, either with the reciproque, or with an inward and secret contempt. By how much the more, men ought to beware of this passion, which loseth not only other things, but itself. As for the other losses, the poet’s relation doth well figure them; that he that preferred Helena, quitted the gifts of Juno, and Pallas. For whosoever esteemeth too much of amorous affection, quitteth both riches, and wisdom. This passion hath his floods in the very times of weakness; which are, great prosperity; and great adversity; though this latter hath been less observed. Both which times kindle love, and make it more fervent, and therefore show it to be the child of folly. They do best, who, if they cannot but admit love, yet make it keep quarter:and sever it wholly from their serious affairs, and actions of life: for if it check once with business, it troubleth men s fortunes, and maketh men, that they can no ways be true to their own ends. I know not how, but martial men are given to love: I think it is, but as they are given to wine; for perils commonly ask to be paid in pleasures. There is in man’s nature, a secret inclination, and motion, towards love of others; which, if it be not spent upon some one, or a few, doth naturally spread itself towards many; and maketh men become humane, and charitable; as it is seen sometime in friars. Nuptial love maketh mankind; friendly love perfecteth it; but wanton love corrupteth and embaseth it.

因为，爱情底报酬永远是这样，要不是回爱，就是一种内心的隐藏的轻蔑，这条定理是真的。由此可见人们更应当如何提防这种情欲，因为它不但使人失去别的事物，简直连自己也保不住。至于其他的损失，古诗人底故事表现得极好;就是喜爱海伦的人是舍弃了攸诺和派拉斯底赏赐的。因为无论何人若过于重视爱情，则自将放弃财富与智慧也。这种情欲泛滥的时候正是在人心力极弱的时候;那就是在一个人最繁荣或最困厄的时候——虽然困厄是不甚受人注意过的。这两个时候都是燃起爱火并使之更为热烈的，由此足见“爱”是“愚”之子也。有些人，即在心中不能不有爱的时候，仍能使它受约束，并且把它与人生底要务严格分开，这些人可算做事极当;因为“爱”若是一旦参与正事，就要扰害人们底福利，并且使他们无术坚守自己底目的。我不懂为什么，可是武人最易堕入爱情。我想这也和他们喜欢喝酒一样;因为危险的事业多需要娱乐为报酬也。人性之中有一种隐秘地爱他人的倾向和趋势，这种倾向若不消耗在一个人或少数人身上，将很自然地普及于众人，并使人变为仁慈的，例如在僧侣之中有时就看得到这样的情形夫妇之爱，使人类蕃滋，朋友之爱使人完美;但是无度的淫爱则使人败坏并卑贱焉。