When we get super-busy, some friendships fall by the wayside. But that doesn’t mean you can’t revive the relationship. Even if a lot of time has elapsed, it’s worth saving those nurturing friends who know you deep down and whom you can confide in and call in a crisis. Wanting to rekindle a friendship isn’t enough, though. You have to find a way to reconnect, which can be difficult after months or years of sporadic-or zero-contact. Here are the best first moves to make to get your friend back in your life.
我们的生活越来越忙碌,朋友间的交情渐渐变淡了,但这并不代表友情就此终止。即使已很久没联系,也要留住那些真正和你心灵相通、关键时刻值得信赖的益友。然而光想不做可没用。在长久不联系、彼此都已疏远的情况下,你得突破万难敌找出一个重拾联系的方法。以下是给你的几点小建议,让你的老朋友重新回到你的生活中:
1. Write Her a Facebook Message
去她的社交网络页面上留言
Getting in touch electronically is one of the easiest ways to catch up. But what do you say in that first note? Start with some information about how busy you’ve been and then add in details about what you’ve been doing. Sharing updates about your life can encourage your friend to reply with the same openness. Once you’ve reconnected, make plans to see each other in person. You can’t substitute Facebook or other forms of social media for real relationships.
网络时代,用电子方式联络是最简便不过的了。不过第一句该说什么呢?说说自己最近很忙,并可以具体说说自己到底在忙些啥。因为主动分享自己的生活能鼓励你的朋友也反馈同样的信息。一旦连络上后,可以约着出来见个面。毕竟社交网络上的交情并不能代表真正的感情。
2. Reconnect Over a Favorite Pastime
找回旧日共处时光
An activity that you used to do together can rev up a stalled friendship. Since that drew you together in the past, it should reignite positive memories and bring you closer again Start by emailing your friend with a list of shared favorite activities and suggest doing one of those. Anything from going shopping to visiting that coffee shop you both love can rebuild your bond.
通过重温曾经一起做过的事可以很好地重塑友情。过往的经历会重燃你们美好的回忆,并因此让人变得更为亲密。不如给老朋友发封邮件,列上一串以前曾经一起做过的事,向TA建议再去做一次。只要能让你们重拾旧关系,无论是外出购物、或去喜欢的咖啡馆小坐,都很好。
3. Send a Handwritten Card
寄张手写贺卡
A note in the mail can be a welcome surprise for a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. And there’s no need to wait until a holiday for an excuse to send it; a "just because" card can restart your relationship anytime. Women are busy and don’t want to feel that the friendship comes with too many strings attached. So avoid mentioning the past or specific dates when you’re available to meet up. Instead, leave the message open-ended, explaining that you’re available for lunch or drinks in the next couple of weeks, she says. And remind her of the best way to contact you.
对许久不联系的朋友来说,一封突如其来的信绝对是个惊喜。并非只有假期才能寄卡片,因为一张“问候卡”能立即拉近你们的关系。女人身上的负担很繁重,她们不喜欢压力太大的友情。因此,不要在卡片里跟对方约某月某日某时的具体见面事项,而应该婉转地提出自己未来几周都有空、想约她出来吃顿饭或者喝杯咖啡,并顺便附上自己的联系方式。这样更好。
4. Set a Phone Date
找时间煲电话粥
Hearing a friend’s voice can be a great way to reconnect. But with hectic schedules, you may wind up playing phone tag for a while before you catch each other. That’s why it’s best to schedule a chat. Leave a voicemail with times you’re available. It may feel weird to call out of the blue, but people understand. Once you’ve got your friend on the phone, be sure to set up time for another phone date or an in-person meeting, she adds.
用真实的声音交流是极赞的老友联系方式。不过人人都有自己的安排,电话畅聊也许需要点运气。这就是为啥我们建议你先预约一次“电话聊天” 时间。给她留条语音信息,告诉她你什么时候有空。你可能会觉得没头没脑突然邀约挺奇怪的,但一般人们都能够理解。只要你们电话通了,那就赶紧约下一次煲电话粥的时间吧,面对面聊天也行。