聆听者/Listener

Many people neglect this most important communication skill.

许多人忽视了这一最为重要的沟通技巧。

Do you know that we spend an average of our waking day communicating?

你是否积压物资我们醒着时有一半的时间是用来沟通的?

Of this communication time, 9% is spent writing, 16% reading, 30% talking and 45% listening.

在这段时间里，9%是通过写，16%是读，30%是说而45%是用来听。

Immediately after hearing something, most of us can recall only 50% of what we hear. Within two to eight weeks, we can recall only 25% or less of the original message. Our mental attitudes reduce our ability to retain what we hear.

一听完某件事，大多数人只能记住其中之一的50%，两至八个星期内，我们只能记得原信息的25%，甚至更少。我们的精神状态削弱了我们的记忆能力。

Some suggestions to being a good listener are mentioned below.

以下是关于怎样做个好听众的建议：

First of all, stop talking----you can’t listen while you are talking.

首先，停止讲话——你说话时是无法听。

Ask questions----when you don’t understand, when you need further clarification, when you want them to like you and when you want to show that you are listening.

问问题——如你不甚理解，你需要进一步澄清，当你希望他们喜欢你并且想证明你正在听时。

Don’t interrupt----give them time to say what they have to say.

不要打岔——给他们时间说他们必须说的一切。

Concentrate on what they are saying---- actively focus your attention on their words, their ideas and their feelings as they relate to the subject.

集中精神听他们说——当他们说到主题时，主动把你的注意力放在你们的言语思想和感情上。

Look at the prospect---- by looking, it gives them confidence that you are, in fact, listening. It helps you to concentrate too.

望着前方——通过望对方，对方就更有信心，说明你正听他说话，这也有助于你集中精神。

Leave your emotions behind----try to forget your own worries and problems. Leave them outside of the meeting room. They will prevent you from listening well.

搁置情感——暂时忘记你自己的烦恼和问题，把它们都通通留在会议室门外，因为它们会让你没法好好听。

Understand the main points ----concentrate on the main ideas and not the illustrative material.

理解要点——集中精力听主要意思而非说明性材料。

Don’t argue mentally----when you are trying to understand other people, it is a handicap to argue with them mentally as they are speaking. This only sets up a barrier between yourself and the speaker.

切忌激烈地争论——如果你想理解别人哀兵必胜说的话，那么在别人说话的时候与别人激烈地争论就会成为一大障碍。这只会在你与说话人之间设下一道鸿沟。

Use the difference in rate----you can listen faster than you can talk. So use this rate difference to your advantage by staying on the right track, anticipating what they are going to say, thinking back over what they have just said and evaluating the development of their argument. You speak at about 100 to 150 words per minute, but you think at 250 to 500.

不同的速率——听总快过说。因此你应该通过不同的估计以发挥你的优势。比如站在合适的位置，设想一下他们要说些什么，回想一下他们刚刚说了什么，并估计下段进展如何，说话时的语速是一分钟100至250至500字。

Learn to listen and you will achieve a great success in your life.

学会聆听，日后定会成功。